My Muse is an Asshole

I’ve never been one to stare at a blinking cursor in woe.  For better or for worse, I can usually throw some words onto a blank page, no problem.  I mean, yeah, it probably does showcase my impulse-control issues, but at least I’m not usually taken hostage by writer’s block. 

But lately, I have begun to fear the blank page.  About a year or so ago, I was at a point in my writing habits where the words were just dripping off my fingertips, dying to be gobbled up by the page.  I could hardly manage my own inspiration.  It seemed to swoop in often; sometimes more often than I’d like.  Ideas came to me frequently but also at their own leisure – anywhere from ten in the morning to three AM.   At one point, I was writing one or two blog posts a day.  And now?  Now I’m avoiding my own freaking website.  And Microsoft Word.  And writing and reading in general. 

So, what’s to blame for all this?  Certainly not me, giving up my good writing habits.  No, I blame my muse.  She’s persnickety.  She prefers to lie about in dark areas and sleep all day, and there is only one way to grab her attention is to lure her out of her cave (or from under my bed, or wherever it is that she lives).  I call it reading and writing by force.  If I grit my teeth and write, and if I force myself to read a book a week or a few hours a day, I know she’ll smell a little creativity.  And then, when I least expect it, she’ll reach out and touch me with her long, cracked and yellowed fingertips protruding from her green, scaly fingers, and then I’ll write something worth the read; then I’ll have a fuse to burn.  But until then, I’ll be posting here daily, waiting for her to wake up to the smell of fresh ink and the sweet sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard.  In other words, this post is muse bait.

Oh, and while I’m thinking about it; I’m sorry about not posting for a while.  Consider this an apology on behalf of my muse, and don’t think for a second that I’m avoiding taking the blame here.  If you liked this, and you want to read more about my responsibility avoiding tendencies and farce, go ahead and follow my lovely blog.  Or don’t.  I’m not your mom or whatever.