I have a lot to balance. College, chores, a social life, money, and feeding myself are just a few. Still, there’s this expectation that I should be looking for a relationship too. If I’m honest with myself, most days, I hardly manage to remember to eat. Caffeine is a major source of nourishment for me. Sometimes my only source of nourishment.
It’s fine. I’m fine.
And yet somehow, between essay-writing and planning meetings and standing in line for coffee, I’m supposed to find a significant other. When you’re like me, and you have a track record of being single, people start noticing. Not charming, lovely potential dates, but family and platonic friends. And as much as you feel comfortable being single-and-not-ready-to-mingle-because-you-can-barely-handle-you, others enjoy giving uninvited input. If I were that kind of blogger, I could make an internet list out of their responses.
“What? How are you single?” is my personal favorite. It implies that A) on the surface, I appear to be high quality girlfriend material, and B) I’m not currently one, so I’m probably hiding something that makes me otherwise. I seriously don’t know how to respond to this one. Like, “Oh, you know, I only look cute right now because of the lighting. I’m actually gross.” Or maybe, “You don’t know me well enough to know that I’m a bitch.”
Humans are social animals, and having a partner isn’t a bad thing. But I think it’s overemphasized, and overrated. My singleness isn’t pathetic. My life isn’t incomplete without a significant other. I am the macaroni to my own cheese, damn it.
Just because I want to be single right now doesn’t mean that I’m going to die alone with cats. For all you know, I prefer the company of goldfish.
Still, we give young, single people severe threats for not being in relationships. We tell them they’ll be “forever alone”, or that cats will eat their rotting corpse long before anyone knows that they’re actually dead.
Which is why goldfish are definitely the solution we’ve been looking for.
…Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll start dating when I can pull myself together better, and I’ll stop feeling bad for sleeping in the middle of my bed and spending my spare time taking naps. In the end, it’s not whether or not you’re dating or in a relationship that defines you. It’s just you. For some people, that means their great personal qualities, fantastic fashion sense, and astounding mental math skills. For me, it’s my morbid sense of humor and slightly concerning caffeine addiction. Or whatever.
But, what do you think? Has anyone ever pressured you into a date, or made you feel bad for being single? Do you own a goldfish? Let me know in the comments.