The ghost of nighttime past

The past, present, and future versions of myself have always had a rocky relationship.  They’re constantly at odds with each other, arguing about what I should have been doing before, what I’m doing right now, and what I should do later. It’s really hard to get along with me. But as I go through college, … Continue reading The ghost of nighttime past

Why I’m afraid of the gym: A string of horror stories

One day at recess when I was in the third grade, a girl named Sydney materialized in front of me, yelled, “Think fast!” and promptly launched a soccer ball at my face and succeeded in hitting all of it.  My equally unpopular friend Andy as my witness, this happened. Coincidentally, I have been hit dead … Continue reading Why I’m afraid of the gym: A string of horror stories

I think I have a Problem: An autobiography

When my brother was a toddler and I was even younger, my mother decided to take a parenting class.  She, a special education teacher for ten years, who knew more about behavior management than most and successfully taught students of all kinds took a parenting class. My brother and I are assholes, obviously, but that’s … Continue reading I think I have a Problem: An autobiography